


Lead

by taedreamer



Series: Exo Rare Pairs [4]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Angst, Ballet Dancer Byun Baekhyun, Ballet Dancer Kim Jongin | Kai, Bullying, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Incorrect or Misused Ballet Terminology, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Poverty, Romeo and Juliet References, mentions of other members - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-13 04:54:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21488677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taedreamer/pseuds/taedreamer
Summary: The boy has danced in the same crowd for three years, never moving front and center and never making a name for himself. Instead he just remains, allows other shining ballerinas to twirl into starring roles, cheers on his friends when they get rave reviews. Baekhyun hasn't expected a lead in a long time, and that isn't changing any time soon.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai
Series: Exo Rare Pairs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/806310
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> beware, this has been in my drafts for a year and its unedited
> 
> enjoy!! <33

An echoing crash rings around the quiet apartment. The noise is distant, but loud in a way that has Baekhyun jumping up from the bed and onto his elbows. It takes him a moment to realize where he is, and another after that to catch his breath. It had seemingly run away from him at the startling noise.

Once he is calm enough to recognize the thin comforter splayed around his torso and the cracked drywall adorning the ceiling above him, he takes a long second to register the noise. When it blares out again, Baekhyun groans. Somebody is rummaging around in the dumpsters two stories below his shabby apartment. He thinks grumpily that it is probably the couple of kids who live in the apartment down the hall and groans even louder.

Baekhyun stands from his bed, which is really just a mattress set flat against the wooden floor. When his bare feet hit the ground his skin prickles against his will, suddenly making his entire body shiver. The chill goes away just as quickly as it had come though, for Baekhyun trudges his way over to the open window on the opposite wall. He's clad in nothing but boxers and once the heat from outside hits his skin, he remembers why. Spring came entirely too quickly this year and Baekhyun can't say he's enjoying the warm and sunny weather.

The noise from below is still too sudden and stark in the otherwise quiet air of the morning. After sending a dark glare down to the perpetrators, who had in fact been the kids from down the hall, Baekhyun sighs and shuts the rickety window as best he can. The lock was broken when he moved in so he doesn't even bother.

The now closed window doesn't do much against the intruding sounds and Baekhyun sighs, knowing he won't be going back to sleep this morning. Instead of getting angry, he just slumps a little more than he already was and flops gracelessly back onto the ratty mattress. He shuts his eyes, but only because he has an atomic headache thrumming through his brain and the slowly rising sun isn't doing him any favors.

Wait. The sun? That means it has to already be after seven in the morning. Suddenly, Baekhyun is shooting out of bed like lightning, his hands reaching desperately for the cheap phone on the floor. When he finally gets his hands on it he's wide awake, all thoughts of sleep completely buried under the newly forming mountain of worry.

Baekhyun's hands are shaking but he still manages to press the home button. When the screen doesn't turn on, he does it again and frowns at the same result. He had charged his phone all night, hadn't he? The small boy glances at the outlet beside his bed and is even more confused when everything seems to be normal.

A thought clicks in his mind and Baekhyun has to suppress himself from screaming. Was the power out again?

If so, that's the second time this month and Baekhyun is livid. Part of his mind, the one that isn't still throbbing from the headache, notes that it's his own fault for living in such a shitty building. Baekhyun just groans before standing once again, ignoring his thoughts in favor of quickly getting ready to go. His director is going to be so angry at him.

After stumbling through a cold shower, Baekhyun runs to the living room where he had set his laundry basket the night before. He digs through the folded clothes until finding black sweatpants, the unfortunately tight ones that he swears he's going to get rid of every time he wears them but never does, and a loose white tee-shirt. It's a little rumpled but almost everything about the boy is rumpled in some way or another. Nothing unusual.

He brushes his teeth, afterwards tasting a faint bit of blood in his mouth, and then grabs his bag before tossing his uncharged phone inside. He can always charge it at the studio.

By now, it's suffocatingly warm within the small apartment and Baekhyun's greasy hair is dripping down his cheeks and onto his collar. He takes a quick glance around before shrugging and walking out, locking the door haphazardly behind him.

Baekhyun makes quick work of the stairs, two at a time despite his short legs, and is practically running out the door of his building. It's usually a fifteen minute walk to the studio from here and Baekhyun knows he's going to be exhausted if he runs the whole way there, but he swears to himself and does it anyways.

The sun is up in the sky at this point and Baekhyun knows it's got to be at least eight in the morning, if not later. He passes numerous people on the streets as he makes his way across the poorer districts of the city. Most are opening stalls and setting up market booths with some sort of fresh goods and Baekhyun really wants to stop running and indulge. But that costs money and he knows that if he gets fired there isn't going to be any to spare. Baekhyun runs a little faster.

He makes it in seven minutes, pushing open glass doors and practically sprinting down hall after hall until he's crashing into the studio.

The other dancers are stretching, and only a few allot him a glance despite his loud entrance. The ones who do just roll their eyes and continue on as they were, leaving Baekhyun to squirm and suck in as much air as possible. The director, however, does take some unwanted interest in him.

"What's it this time, Byun? Why're you late?"

Baekhyun cringes as he turns around to face the man. He's older than Baekhyun by nearly a decade, despite the two being comparable in height, and holds himself like royalty. His hair is dark and parted cleanly, stray locks falling against his pale and unblemished skin. He's a striking individual, although not what one would expect from the director of a ballet company.

"Sorry, Director Kim. My power was out. My alarm didn't go off." The answer is embarrassed and rushed while Baekhyun keeps his eyes downcast. He bows in apology and he can hear the man sigh above him, can practically see the annoyance in his eyes. When he comes out of his bow, though, the director just sends him on his way with a little wave of the hand and a hissed, "Don't let it happen again, Baekhyun."

When the twenty-four year old is finally stretching alongside the other dancers, he allows himself to breathe for a moment. His morning had been nothing but chaos and it had barely even began. A thin boy sitting beside him, lying out in a full split and pointing his toes effortlessly, glances his way and sends him a small smile. Baekhyun knows his name is Yixing and that he came here from China but in all three years of the two dancing side by side, they've only had a handful of conversations with each other.

"You sort of look like hell, Baekhyun." The Korean boy just stares at him for a second before allowing his face to break into a little amused grin. He knows he looks tired too but hearing Yixing say that of all things almost has him outright laughing. He restrains himself, knowing he'll disturb the quietness within the studio. Instead he just sighs and mumbles a sarcastic and lighthearted, "No need to sugarcoat it."

Yixing himself snorts a little, giving away his usually cool and angelic exterior. Another nearby dancer looks over and glares a little before returning to his own stretching. Baekhyun recognizes him as Kim Jongin, star pupil of the company, but ignores him in favor of smiling along to whatever Yixing says next.

Rehearsal goes by smoothly, everyone focused intently on impressing Director Kim. Baekhyun knows this is because of the upcoming performance, one that's supposed to rise in popularity so dramatically after opening night that critics are already discussing it. Everyone wants a chance at the spot light, so everyone grits their teeth and dances as hard as they can.

Baekhyun isn't worried about the performance, and even less so the audition he is currently participating in. He thinks it's a bit useless for the director to just call it another rehearsal, especially since everyone knows better. Instead of fretting, however, Baekhyun sighs and dances the way he always does, always has.

The boy has danced in the same crowd for three years, never moving front and center and never making a name for himself. Instead he just remains, allows other shining ballerinas to twirl into starring roles, cheers on his friends when they get rave reviews. Baekhyun hasn't expected a lead in a long time, and that isn't changing any time soon.

Once the two-hour practice comes to a close, Baekhyun heads over to his bag just like everyone else. He changes his shoes, strips his soaked shirt from his body in favor of the dry one he always keeps with him. He wants to change his sweatpants as well, is about to when he notices the hairs on the back of his neck begin to stand up. Baekhyun feels like shivering, despite the heat in the room. He feels like he's being watched and for some reason it's making him extremely uncomfortable.

Baekhyun isn't very shy and really doesn't mind showing off his body, especially around fellow dancers, but something about the feeling creeping down his throat has him stuttering his movements and stuffing the shorts he was going to wear back into his bag.

The feeling doesn't leave right away and when Baekhyun turns his head to the left, he catches Kim Jongin's eye for a second too long. Jongin doesn't look like he got caught doing anything wrong though, just stares at the smaller boy with the same bored glare that he always has before turning down to the phone he's holding in his lap. Just like that, the feeling goes away.

Director Kim comes over for a moment and says a few things that one should take as encouragement, although the man doesn't forget to tell everyone exactly what they are lacking as well. He ends the short talk on a light note though, smiling with rare bit of sincerity and announcing that the cast list will be up by noon today. Considering it is about half past ten, Baekhyun doesn't think it's worth heading home.

Instead he takes the time to head back down towards the stalls in the market. Baekhyun has always loved it there, loved the way people are friendly and warm to everyone. When he was young, his mother would take him every week to buy whatever was selling, whether it be fish or beef, and Baekhyun remembers enjoying every second of it. Sometimes, when they had a little extra money, his mother would treat Baekhyun to sweets from the stall with baked goods.

After half an hour or so, the boy allows himself to head back toward the studio and inside. He's so lost in his thoughts that he isn't really paying attention to where he is going, letting his feet guide him. This turns out to be a bad idea because not even ten seconds later, Baekhyun is slamming into somebody's back and sending them flying forward. Baekhyun is off balanced and ends up falling right onto his ass, his eyes wide and confused as to what the hell just happened.

Before the small boy can even try to stand up, the person who he has knocked over quickly turns and makes to apologize to Baekhyun. He stops suddenly though when he catches sight of who it is, his embarrassed and annoyed expression turning something much more dark. Jongin, of course it was Jongin, set a solid glare on Baekhyun and kept it there even as he stood up. Baekhyun just stayed where he was, sprawled out on the clean and nicely kept floor and probably looking like an idiot. In the back of his mind, he takes the time to hope that the director isn't watching.

"Watch where you're going, Byun."

Baekhyun flounders for a moment and then ducks his head in mortification, trying desperately to find an apology. When it finally comes and he lifts his eyes back up from his lap, the taller boy is nowhere to be seen. He looks around and sees nothing out of the ordinary, barely hears anything at all besides the ridiculously loud beating of his heart in his ears. The studio is mostly empty at this point, everyone trying to grab a bite before noon comes around but Baekhyun just sits there. The market stalls are long forgotten, replaced by thoughts of one Kim Jongin.

After a puzzling few minutes of trying to recall what he can about the boy, he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t know much. He knows his name and age, only because Jongin had been a few years below him in the company. He knows that Jongin specializes in ballet, among other things as well, and that the dancer was the top of his class. Other than the obvious though, Baekhyun is in the dark.

He stands after another moment, mind still heavy with useless thoughts. Baekhyun can’t seem to rid himself of them though, so he resigns himself to grabbing a granola bar from the vending machine and marching right back into the now vacant studio. If he doesn’t have the time or the want to go to the market anymore, he might as well get some extra practice in, he decides.

The hour and a half must have rolled by quickly because before Baekhyun knows it, dancer after dancer comes parading back into the studio. Most of them don’t pay Baekhyun any mind, which he is thankful for, but a few stop to watch him. Yixing is one of them and when Baekhyun’s routine comes to an end he begins clapping, slow and torturously intuitive, as if he knows why the younger just put himself through the tiring hour and a half of extra dancing. Baekhyun assures himself that he doesn’t, because how could Yixing know if Baekhyun didn’t really know himself?

“It’s crazy that you don’t ever get leads, Baekhyun. You’re more than talented enough.” Yixing smiles and Baekhyun smiles back before dropping onto the floor quite gracelessly. The older just huffs out a laugh and sits down beside him.

“Directer Kim and I have a mutual understanding.”

At this, Yixing’s brow furrows and his lip pops out like a child. Baekhyun thinks it’s cute but he’s too tired to say so.

“You don’t want any leads?” The question is blunt and Baekhyun has never been faced with it so directly before. He doesn’t really know what to say, so instead of answering he just laughs and directs the question back to the older boy.

“What about you, huh? You’re good enough, so why don’t you get any leads?” Now Baekhyun thinks he’s the one who resembles a child, but he stands his ground when Yixing raises an eyebrow at him.

“Touchy.” Baekhyun snorts but doesn’t comment on the older’s blatant observation. Instead he quickly takes a look around. When he doesn’t spot the piercing eyes and tan skin from earlier, he decides it’s safe enough to change really fast. As he strips out of his sweatpants and into the shorts he was planning on wearing earlier, he wonders why it suddenly matters so much to him what Kim Jongin thinks or does.

There is a spike in noise across the large room and both Yixing and Baekhyun glance over out of curiosity. Most of the female dancers are giggling and bouncing on their toes out of excitement, whispering to each other in such an animated way that Baekhyun is sure he could hear what they were saying from all the way over here if he cared to try. He doesn't.

"Looks like the list is out." Yixing has always had a knack for being exceptionally blatant and Baekhyun just rolls his eyes and finishes shoving his clothes into his bag. Letting his mind drift to think about the audition, he shakes his head and sighs. When the older boy shoots him a questioning glance, he just shrugs and bites out a quick reply.

"I'm just not really all that excited about this performance." Yixing doesn't ask what he means by that, and the smaller boy is thankful because he doesn't really know how he would answer.

The company that Baekhyun signed to right out of school was very open-minded, very future forward. Three years later and Director Kim is still pushing boundaries and exploring more Western ideas within his shows and choreography. Baekhyun absolutely loves this acceptance and positivity, knows it's why he stays here instead of branching off in search of more fulfilling opportunities, but the constant point to prove is nevertheless tiresome to him.

For this performance, the director had chosen to recreate the classic ‘Romeo and Juliet’ into a more modern and sensual take. And his biggest twist, one that Baekhyun was slightly weary of, was the lack of a female lead. Instead, the man had announced that the show would consist of a love story between two men and showcase the hardships of romantic and forbidden love in its most common form. Baekhyun was skeptical, to say the least.

He knew it sounded bad to voice his opinion, knew it was an amazing thing that a South Korean ballet company was promoting such a taboo subject like homosexuality, but something just settled poorly in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it all.

"Let's go take a look, Baekhyun." Despite the younger's sour mood, Yixing smiles and stands up to head for the crowd. Baekhyun sits for a tense second before sighing and following suit. He walks with his shoulders slouching and his head staring intensely down toward the floor. The whispering is extremely blatant, but quiets almost instantaneously as he gets closer to the small crowd. It sets him on edge, makes him feel like an intruder, as if he’e walking into a conversation solely about him. He tries to shrug it off but the feeling doesn't go anywhere.

Baekhyun isn't usually one to worry too much about what others think, not particularly absorbed in the drama that circulates. Unfortunately, the closer he gets to that damned list, the more hyper aware he is of the eyes following him. People are staring at him, he realizes, although he has no idea why and the knowledge just makes ever step harder.

Yixing must have noticed as well, if the odd look he turns to fix Baekhyun with is anything to go by. He smiles, but it's obvious he is just as confused as the younger.

The two make it up to the list at the same time, standing stiffly side by side as curious eyes track their every move. Baekhyun swallows and lets himself glance at the first male lead, trying to pretend that the hushed whispers he occasionally catches aren’t about him.

The first name he reads, printed in bold at the top of the page, is more or less expected: Kim Jongin. There were few other dancers Baekhyun would have even considered for the part had it been up to him. He truly did have a mutual understanding with Director Kim.

The next name Baekhyun reads, however, is his own. It takes more than a few tantalizingly long seconds to process the syllables rolling around in his mind and string them together the correct way, but when he finally does, he knows there must have been a mistake. He checks again, eyes flashing over each character twice for good measure. Yixing is looking at him strangely and Baekhyun already feels some semblance of fear setting in. Now he knows why people are looking at him with confused and judging eyes and he honestly wishes he never would have gotten up this morning. Baekhyun had never gotten a lead, never deserved one, and definitely never wanted one. Especially not this one.

“Why is everyone so quiet? Is the list out yet?” Baekhyun’s mind isn’t functioning at its usual rapid-fire speed and the question evades him without thought. He doesn’t recognize the voice, doesn’t realize who the newcomer is until they are practically leaning over him to check the list.

Jongin smells better than when Baekhyun had run into him earlier and the smaller knows he showered. He can guess that he smells absolutely awful at this point but knows it’s the least of his worries.

Baekhyun still hasn’t moved from when he initially looked at the piece of paper taped to the wall, so as Jongin tries to get a better look, he inevitably knocks into the boy. The younger grumbles out of annoyance, sending a sharp glare toward Baekhyun before shoving around him with nothing more than a sarcastic, “Excuse me.”

The older’s eyes leave the list and lock instead on Kim Jongin. The nagging fear and shame that had been bubbling up in his stomach is growing, clogging up his throat and lungs and leaving Baekhyun unable to even breathe. All he can do is stare on and wait for Jongin to realize that Baekhyun is the other lead, wait for him to realize how unlucky he is.

“Baekhyun?” Yixing is still standing next to him, his hand sitting tightly on the smaller’s shoulder in order to balance him. He is glancing back and forth between Jongin and Baekhyun, reserving a rude glare for the youngest even though he isn’t looking at him. Jongin is too busy realizing how screwed he is, Baekhyun knows.

“Dude, breathe.” Baekhyun does. He makes himself because the lack of oxygen is really starting to make him dizzy. As he sucks in a gasp of air though, Jongin slowly begins to turn around. Part of him wishes he had just suffocated and died right there instead of having to lock eyes with the prodigy and face the judgmental scowl he’s wearing.

“This is just great.”

Those are the only words that Jongin mutters, barely loud enough for even Baekhyun to hear, before he sighs and stalks off past everyone. A few of the onlookers decide to leave then, sensing the bulk of the drama has passed, while others continue to gawk and whisper from just a few feet away. Yixing is annoyed, Baekhyun can tell, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he grabs Baekhyun’s hand and tugs him away from the other dancers and out into the lobby of the studio. There isn’t a single person in the large room, all of them to preoccupied with the events unraveling in the studio. Yixing takes the younger to a bench, pushes him on the shoulders lightly as if to tell him to sit. Baekhyun does.

“Why did you freeze up right there? You got the lead. You should be celebrating. And why the hell is Kim being a dick to you?”

The questions are not very difficult but Baekhyun doesn’t want to answer them. Yixing doesn’t really seem to give a shit about what the younger does or doesn’t want to do however, because he begins tapping his foot a moment later. The noise is obnoxious in the large, open room and Baekhyun can only imagine how childish it must look of him with Yixing standing there like that, ready to scold him for his bad behavior like a disapproving parent. The last time Baekhyun checked, they weren’t even that close.

Nevertheless, the younger sighs and resigns himself to answering Yixing’s questions. If he doesn’t, he is certain the older will get the wrong idea. Baekhyun isn’t even sure what idea he is supposed to have at the moment, but he just knows Yixing will end up with the wrong one if not careful. He doesn’t need his name circling around anymore than it already is. With his luck, he is going to be the talk around the studio for at least a few weeks, likely until the performance is well underway.

“I told you earlier, I’m not thrilled with the performance. And of course, now I’m the lead.”

Yixing sighs and ignores the way Baekhyun grumbles, ignores the way he’s overthinking things that don’t matter and using them against himself. Instead, he repeats his second question and hopes for a better answer. He doesn't really get one.

“I honestly don’t know. I bumped into him this morning but he’s always been like that with me. He’s never been respectful, even though I’m older by a few years.” This has the older confused, mind swimming. The tense atmosphere from within the studio had frozen some of his joints, left him stiff and weary for no reason, and only now is it wearing off. He lets out a sigh and shakes his head.

Just as Yixing is about to speak again, about to tell Baekhyun to just get a grip and stick it out, the door to the main studio opens.

"There you are, Baekhyun. I know it's exciting and all but we're going to kick off our first rehearsal today instead of tomorrow. Be ready in ten." Without so much as a hello, Director Kim is already disappearing back through the door, unaware smile plastering his features. Baekhyun doesn't even get to grunt out an affirmative before he’s gone, leaving no room for discussion.

Baekhyun slumps his head down but sighs and prepares to stand anyway. Yixing looks like he wants to say something, but he has absolutely no idea what the right words are. He can't even decide if Baekhyun's situation qualifies as an actual problem or not.

Baekhyun cuts him off with a bitter smile. "Thanks, Yixing, but I'm fine. Everything will work out. Kim won't act like an ass in front of the director anyways."

And just like that, he’s gone, slipping silently back into the crowded studio with thoughts of Kim Jongin and the strange order of events his life had become plaguing his mind. Yixing just watches him go.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next few days, Baekhyun dances unreasonably long. He shows up to the studio early, working on his form and trying to get the hang of the style he has to learn. Director Kim expressed how necessary it was for the small man to dance pointe, just as a female ballerina would. Baekhyun thinks the idea is unique, definitely, but completely unrealistic. The form takes years to master; they have a month.

Kim Jongin must also find the entire thing ridiculous, if the glares he sends Baekhyun or the iron grip he continuously hinges onto his waist are anything to go by. Day after day passes with nearly twelve hours spent practicing, and no improvement on the older boy's part. It's frustrating, to say the least.

Baekhyun sees Yixing a few times as the week goes by, sending tired smiles his way only to receive sympathetic ones in return. The younger boy shrugs them off because he knows he's fine. The performance isn't looming over his head, taking away his sleep. Kim Jongin isn't berating his technique every second he can. Nothing is wrong. It's all just part of the show, and despite what Baekhyun wants, he knows it must go on.

They've been practicing all morning, Jongin twirling gracefully while Baekhyun tramples over the choreography like it isn't even there. Director Kim is not impressed, but he keeps the mood light nonetheless. Baekhyun can't possibly understand why the man gave him this role, can't for the life of him see what he sees. He tries, honestly, but Jongin likes to knock down his progress as soon as it's built up a few feet.

It isn’t even eleven yet, but Baekhyun is exhausted. His feet are aching, blood soaking through the tape and cloth wrapping his shoes. They are new, since he had never needed them before, and they are ruining the calloused skin on his feet, shredding it until there is nothing left but blood and pain.

He's fallen a number of times, stepped on Jongin twice as many. It's as if he's never danced before and Jongin can't help but remind him.

Baekhyun goes up for a grand jeté, just as he's done a million times. The only difference is that this time, the shoes are too restricting on his feet and he's off-balance. Jongin has outstretched arms to meet him as he hits the ground, but rather than catching him, Baekhyun tumbles straight into the younger. Jongin looses balance as well, dropping to his knees with Baekhyun draped across him. The older's ankle is throbbing from the contact with the ground but he tries to ignore it in favor of scrambling away from the larger boy.

Jongin sits up, eyes ablaze and fists clenching. Baekhyun flinches at just the sight, preparing for the worst. Director Kim may be watching but he won't put it passed Jongin to hit him at this point.

"What the fuck, Byun? Are you stupid? It isn't that fucking hard!"

The words sting and Baekhyun almost thinks Jongin really did slap him. But the younger just rises to his feet and stomps out of the studio, mumbling curses all the while. Baekhyun is still processing everything when he hears the studio door click shut.

He’s left with just the director and suddenly he feels hyper aware of everything. He hears his heartbeat and feels it thump all the way up in his ears. His skin is sticky and his hands feel as if they’re glued to the slick studio floor. The pain in his ankle is hard to ignore and Baekhyun hopes that Jongin’s little outburst has earned him some leeway with the director. Unless he ices it soon, Baekhyun isn’t sure the swelling will allow him to dance the next day.

“I’ve had you in mind for this role since I decided on this production back in December.”

The words are the last thing that Baekhyun is expecting and, honestly, the last thing he wants to hear. Nonetheless, Director Kim’s voice causes the younger to look up to meet his eyes. The manners are ingrained into him and Baekhyun has always liked his director enough to at least respect him.

“Director?”

The man stands from where he had been resting in a small folding chair, probably the least flattering thing in the entire studio. He takes slow and careful steps until he is only a few feet away from the young dancer, eyes glancing at Baekhyun through the large floor-to-ceiling mirror. Baekhyun tries to stand, leaning almost entirely on his left leg until he has no choice but to use both. He winces for a second but focuses most of his weight off of his hurt ankle. Director Kim watches the entire thing from the mirror but says nothing, instead turning to face the boy directly.

“You’ve danced here for, what, three years now? You’ve always shown promise, although you never liked to put yourself front and center. You’re extremely lithe and small in stature, both things required of this role. I think you were the obvious choice from the very beginning, Baekhyun.”

The dancer stands rigid, eyes wide like quarters and mouth parted just slightly. The shock he must be conveying is evident in how the director chuckles and continues his leisurely pacing, this time without a particular target. As it becomes apparent that Baekhyun does not have anything to say, Director Kim speaks up once again.

“Pointe is traditionally for women, something I knew would pose a challenge for you. It would probably take most of my dancers six months to master this style to a level I would allow on stage. Hell, Kim Jongin, dancer extraordinaire, probably wouldn’t last ten minutes in those damn shoes. But I do believe you can do it, even within the limited amount of time.”

Baekhyun swallows, finally closing his mouth after realizing he had left it hanging open for the last several minutes. The director’s words are crystal clear in his head, but just as Baekhyun originally could not understand why he was chosen, his mind twists it all up into one huge mess.

“Director Kim, I’m really sorry, but I’m not sure I’m the one you really want dancing this part. I mean, Kim Jongdae is the same size as me and much better at traditional dance styles. Or Luhan, I know he’s only been here a little over a year but he’s more than capable.” After a moment, Baekhyun’s rambling slows and he realizes that he is all but begging for the part to be taken away from him.

The Director is still pacing, eyes avoiding Baekhyun for the most part but as the boy’s words grow louder, the small smile on his lips grows wider. When the dancer finally takes a breath and shuts his mouth, Director Kim stops his movements and turns to face him. He finds Baekhyun’s conflicted eyes locked on his already and wastes no time in letting out a short laugh.

Baekhyun’s eyes grow warier and he rebalances himself on his one good leg before speaking again. “Director, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful if I came off that way, I just-“

“No, no. You were nothing but respectful. I just don’t think you are seeing the entire picture very clearly. I’m certain you will in time. You will continue as the lead, alongside Kim Jongin, unless you are absolutely unable to. Are you absolutely unable to?”

Baekhyun stutters a little, blinks twice. “No, Director.”

“Lovely! Now if you excuse me, I’m going to have a word with our other lead. I’m sure everything is just a misunderstanding and it’ll all be cleared up by tomorrow at practice.” The man makes to leave with a smile left in his wake before stopping short of the studio doors.

“Oh, and I see you babying that ankle, Byun. Go home, ice it, now.” And with that, he’s gone. This is the director that Baekhyun is more used to; the positivity and pep talks are a new step in their relationship, he supposes.

So that’s how Baekhyun finds himself at home, right leg hanging off of his low-sitting mattress and resting uncomfortable in a bucket of ice with nothing to protect it but a thin rag. It’s nearly dark out, the last rays of sunlight peaking through the window on the far wall and casting the small room in orange shadows. The power is out again and almost everything in his fridge has gone bad due to the constant on and off. Dinner seems to be nothing more than a distant dream when there’s a timid knock on his door.

Groaning, the young dancer calls out for whoever it is to wait just a second, silently hoping that it isn’t the nice old lady from down the hall asking for some milk. He’d really hate to have to tell her he doesn’t have any, again.

The break from the ice is welcome and as Baekhyun takes the first few tantalizing steps on his royally fucked up ankle, he is surprised and thrilled to feel almost no pain, just a dull ache in the joint. A few more hours and the whole thing will be good as new, he dares to think.

Another knock rings out, this one less timid and more impatient and Baekhyun is pretty sure it isn’t any nice old lady. As he reaches the door, one foot clad in a sock and the other still finding purchase across the cheap hardwood, he sighs and undoes the lock on the handle, making sure to keep the chain in place.

The crack in between the peeling wood and the frame is barely three inches, the dim lighting in the hall casting more shadows than clarity, and yet there is no denying the face on the other side of the door.

“Um, hello?”

“Hello.”

It’s strange, seeing the calm and collected Kim Jongin stumble over his words and fiddle with his hands. Baekhyun hates the sudden nervous feeling that comes with it, and in the back of his mind, he wishes the younger would just turn around and leave before he has a chance to say anything else.

The two stare at each other for a few seconds, Baekhyun shifting his weight off of his hurt foot twice in that amount of time. Every time Baekhyun thinks he’s going to say something, break the ice or whatever, Jongin starts to open his mouth and Baekhyun stops, having much rather hear what the younger has to say first. The unfortunate thing is that every time Jongin opens his mouth to talk, his strange, new anxiety gets the best of him and he stops as well.

Finally, Baekhyun sighs and gives up on Jongin getting them anywhere.

“Can I help you?” The question comes out more rude than it was originally intended to but Baekhyun thinks he likes the sound of it better than he did in his head. He doesn’t show it though, even if he wants to.

Jongin’s eyes widen a little comically and the older thinks this is the first time he’s ever seen Jongin look so out-of-place.

“How the fuck did you get my address, anyway? Did you follow me?” Now those were intended to be harsh, the realization that Jongin really shouldn’t know where he lives dawning on him. This, however, seems to snap the younger out of his muteness and he’s quick to defend himself.

“No, of course not. I, well, I got your address from Yixing.” Jongin explains himself and Baekhyun internally curses Yixing for insisting on driving him home last week after a particularly enduring practice.

“Awesome. Did you want something?”

The chain between them makes seeing the younger boys facial expressions all the more difficult, but Baekhyun is certain he sees Jongin’s eyes flick down to his exposed abdomen and then quickly back up to his face again. The older can’t help but scoff before spitting more words at the younger.

“Well if you don’t need anything I really should be icing my ankle. Hopefully I didn’t hurt you too bad this morning, I know how stupid I can be.” The words are sharp, cutting like ice in stark contrast to the warm May weather outside. But before the older can slam the door shut in the other dancer’s face, Jongin wedges his foot into the crack between the panel and the frame.

“Wait! Look, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t talk to you like that. You’re my elder and I should treat you with respect.”

Jongin sounds ashamed, ashamed in a way that makes Baekhyun think he really is sorry, not just sorry that he was reprimanded for his actions. The tone is a big enough cause for Baekhyun to let up on the door, knowing somewhere in his mind that the younger’s foot probably is hurting, at least a little.

Baekhyun sighs, drops his eyes to his own feet, and drapes his arm that isn’t holding onto the door across his bare chest, partially due to the draft of air in the hallway and partially because he can feel Jongin staring at him again.

“Yes, you should. Now, is that all you had to say, because I really do need to ice my ankle.” The older is far less bitter when he speaks this time, and as he glances up he can see the guilt on Jongin’s face.

The younger gulps, fiddles with his fingers and the thin, fraying bracelet on his left wrist, and decidedly looks up to meet Baekhyun’s untrusting eyes once again. There is a small, almost unnoticeable sliver of the old Jongin back, the one that makes Baekhyun’s hair stand on edge, and the older doesn’t fail to recognize it. Confidence, Baekhyun later realizes, is what he saw.

“Actually, I was wondering if there was anything I could do for you, to make up for my behavior, I mean. Get you dinner, check on your ankle, I don’t know.”

The older outright laughs at this, and Jongin blanches at him. It takes a few seconds for Baekhyun to get it all out of his system, and by then, Jongin looks absolutely confused, and a little irritated. Finally, however, the smaller dancer sobers up and lifts his eyes to meet his younger partner, a firm line on his lips and a reply on his tongue.

“No.” The retort is quick and simple and if Jongin hadn’t been listening as intently as he was, Baekhyun’s actions would have made him think he said something totally opposite of what he did.

“No?”

“No. You’ve been treating me like shit for weeks, and now that Director Kim tells you to grow up you want me to forgive you, just like that? No.”

The look on Jongin’s face is priceless, completely dumbfounded and a lot more irritated than he was earlier. It barely phased Baekhyun, though, and his next words came rolling off of his tongue just as quickly as the last ones had, with absolutely no mercy.

“This is a good step for you, Kim. But don’t come around here anymore. I’ll see you at rehearsal in the morning.” And just like that, the door is slammed shut, never having actually been opened all the way in the first place. Baekhyun thinks he hears a muffled sigh, maybe even a few swears on the other side of the paneled wood, but the creaking steps echoing down the hall are enough to let the dancer know that Jongin has left.

Suddenly, Baekhyun realizes what he had just said, runs through the conversation in his mind a few times and swears. That was the nicest Kim Jongin had ever been to him, and Baekhyun just threw it back in his face. Judging by the poor quality of his apology, Jongin has probably never even had to apologize to someone. It must have taken a lot for him to come here. If Director Kim hadn’t wanted to take the role away from Baekhyun earlier today, he definitely will want to now.

Hurriedly, Baekhyun undoes the chain on the door, only struggling for a moment. Once he manages to get it unlocked, the boy throws the panel open with so little care that the knob smacks into the drywall with a loud thud, like it’s done so many times before. The dent in the wall will likely be bigger and little white flecks will be strewn all over the hardwood floor, but that is the last thing on Baekhyun’s mind at the moment.

Trying desperately to keep as much pressure off of his ankle, the boy makes for the end of the hallway and toward the eerily vacant stairs. It has to be around nine by now, and considering most of the people in his building are either elderly or mothers with young children, there will likely not be anyone else using them until the morning. With that thought, Baekhyun begins his trek down the three flights of stairs, two at a time as always. His ankle is no longer numb, although the pain is barely there compared to how harsh it was this morning and Baekhyun makes sure not to baby it. It has to get stronger again by tomorrow.

As the dancer reaches the main hall of the first floor, a dimly lit corridor with dust lining the corners of the ceiling and cracks leaving their mark on the off-white walls, he curses when he remembers that he forgot to put a shirt on. There’s no use in going back for one now, but as the sun sinks farther down below the horizon, the wind grows slightly chilly and the concrete loses all its warmth from the afternoon.

Decidedly, Baekhyun marches down the hall and out the main door, both arms slung around his bare torso in a sort of shielding effect. There is luckily only a few people out at this time, most of them being the keep-to-myself type anyway, so it is almost too easy for the older to spot Jongin making his way down the sidewalk at a tantalizingly slow pace. He’s still within earshot, and when Baekhyun calls out to him, he stumbles for a moment before turning and locking eyes with his poorly dressed partner. It’s too dark to see his features clearly, but Baekhyun swears the slump of his shoulders eases up just a little.

Jongin begins the short walk back to the older’s building, breaking out into an almost-jog by the end of it. Baekhyun wants to laugh at him again, but he doesn’t, too afraid of embarrassing Jongin or himself further.

There are a few concrete steps between the two that Jongin stops short of. This allows Baekhyun to look down on the younger, something he wishes terribly that he could do all the time. But Jongin has at least seven centimeters on him and that doesn’t look like it’s going to change anytime soon, if ever.

“I’m sorry, that was rude. If you really want to, you can buy me dinner.”

Nothing happens for bit. The wind blows a little stronger, a distant siren rings out from a police car, and Jongin just looks at Baekhyun. He doesn’t smile at first, but that doesn’t really say anything since Jongin never smiles at Baekhyun. As the seconds turn into minutes though, Jongin’s eyes begin to look smaller, his cheeks a little rounder, and the corners of his mouth lift ever so slightly. It really shouldn’t count as a smile by any means, but it’s the closest Baekhyun thinks he is probably ever going to get, so he takes it.

“I like Chinese. You?” Baekhyun tries to sound indifferent, despite the goosebumps on his arms from the evening air and the way his stomach growls. He sort of hopes Jongin really will buy him dinner, since he definitely couldn’t have bought any for himself. Damn, Baekhyun really needs the bonuses from this production.

“I could go for Chinese. You’re not going dressed like that, are you?” There’s a little judgement in his tone, something that Baekhyun is sure Jongin will never grow out of, but he brushes it off. His cheeks color without his say and suddenly Baekhyun has that weird feeling on the back of his neck again, the same one from those few weeks ago in the studio.

“Of course I’m not going in this. And you call me stupid. Alright, come inside while I change.” The brashness is the only weapon that Baekhyun has at the moment and he hopes it doesn’t come off as rude as it sounds. Judging by the way Jongin snorts and follows him quietly, he thinks it’s just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, unedited and very rushed. enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos <33333


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